Barack Obama, your husband, also wants your wedding gifts now
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Yesterday, the campaign made clear that they want you to think of Barack Obama as your awesome husband who does awesome things for you and is always looking awesomely hot, because he’s awesome. After all, America, it’s very clear that you were only looking for someone to take care of you and dig your car out of snow and pay for your birth control as long as you totally did everything they said. OMG IT’S FIFTY SHADES OF GREY FOR REALS. At any rate, not only does Barack Obama want to be the National Spouse, he totally wants all of the presents that come along with your happy marriage.
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